Mofos keep stealing my council supplied bins. There were none when I moved in, so I called the council and requested some new ones. Those disappeared within a month. So I called up again and explained the situation, and managed to get replacements for the replacements, but now my yellow recycling bin has disappeared again. So now I am forced to surreptitiously dispose of my empty bottles and cardboard in other peoples’ bins.
The bins for my neighbours and I are located in the alleyway the runs behind our block. So dropping off a load of trash involves a walk around the block. The last couple of times I dragged my huge box of bottles and cardboard down to the alley, I found all the existing yellow bins were full! Meaning I had to drag the wretched pile of bottles back to my house and store them there for another week.
Alas, as of yesterday it had gotten to the point where my laundry was an unnavigable cesspit of stored empty bottles and cans. I found myself staring at the chaos, and at that moment formed the steely resolve to correct the situation, that night!
And so, still wearing my black kung fu uniform (I’d just gotten home from sanshou class), under the cover of night, I trudged around the block with a massive load of recyclables, and sure enough, every yellow bin in the alleyway was filled. I went down an adjacent alleyway and their bins were filled to overflowing as well.
Then, I noticed that my as-yet unstolen red rubbish bin (for regular garbage) was nearly empty. My mind heavy with defeat, I reasoned that just this once, surely, there were extenuating circumstances that would justify not recycling? Enviro-guilt welled up in my throat like bile, but I quickly swallowed it down.
Before I had a chance to change my mind, I dumped the bottles into the red bin and slammed the lid shut. Dusting off my hands I looked up, to meet the gaze of my neighbour, on her balcony, shaking her head and staring at me like I just clubbed a baby seal…
